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HUMAN video, Volume 1 Part 1

  1. HUMAN

    Select one of these speakers—other than Leonard, the first—whose message resonates with you in a particularly deep, personal way. Compose a letter of approximately 300 words that you might send to that person. There is no specific agenda for your message: You might affirm what the speaker says, offer comfort to someone in their suffering, or challenge ideas you feel are short-sighted in some way.

  2. Select two other speakers whose messages are very different from one another and try to place yourself within the experience of one of them. Then compose a brief (about 250 words) dialogue in which you occupy one person’s identity in a conversation (in English) with the other.

Human transcript, Vol 1 Part 1–Love

Responses

  1. Charlie Hausman Avatar
    Charlie Hausman

    Dear Sunao,
    I listened to your story in my Freshman Honors Colloquium class recently. It was a very emotional story. Although I only heard a short summary of your story, I can tell the major impact it had on your life and all the people around you. Sharing that this happened after the atomic bomb in Hiroshima helps convey the time this story happened and the state of the world around you guys. Despite the many political issues ensuing in the world as a result of the war, you were able to find such true love. I could see how having such a strong connection with someone could help distract you from issues going on that no one person could fix. However, after her parents opposed the marriage, it is understandable that something like that would be very hard to deal with. Surrounded by conflict, your one person that showed you peace, couldn’t be with you. The fact that the two of you decided the only option would be to die together, emphasizes the severity of the situation. Waking up after making such a permanent decision must have been very difficult to process and come to terms with what it meant. It seems like fate that a love as strong as yours could hold fast and prove itself through you both waking up together. I believe that in the beginning, waking up could have seemed like a curse, proving that you two couldn’t be together. However, from the outside it seemed obvious that waking up meant the two of you were meant to try again. Waiting seven and a half years must have been very difficult, but the people around you were definitely able to tell the passion the two of you put into staying together. You two ended up together in the end and that really does prove that it was meant to be.
    Raul: Hello, my name is Raul

    Me: Hello, I’m Abeer. Who do you love most?

    Raul: I love my wife most. I have spent 13 years with her, and she is my other half. Loving her is easy, you just have to take love one day at a time. Love is a give and take relationship, when both partners do this, love comes naturally.

    Me: Love seems so simple and beautiful between you and your wife.

    Raul: Thank you, it truly is. Who do you love most?

    Me: I love my daughter and my mother most. I thought I loved my husband, however, when I realized I didn’t and wanted to divorce him, he confirmed this truth. He attacked me. When I thought my life was going to end, my daughter was who I was thinking of, and so was my mother.

    Raul: That is a hard way to discover the truth about your love. I suppose it is true that love can be misleading at times. However, the people who we truly love deep in our hearts will always be obvious.

    Me: I believe that as well. My life didn’t end, it just started, and with this new beginning it is obvious who I love most.

    Raul: Not everyone finds love in this world. Although our paths were different, it is lucky we both were able to find love.

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  2. Liv Stock Avatar
    Liv Stock

    Hi Peter, after hearing what you said about love, it really touched me. The fact that you would go through such lengths for someone you truly care about says a lot about you. I believe the same as you in when you love someone, you are willing to do whatever it takes. The phrase “in sickness and in health” when getting married is truly the biggest testament. I am so sorry that you had to witness your loved one go through something terrible. It is hard to be with someone for fifty years and suddenly have them no longer be a part of your life. I am sure you still have all those memories together, but still losing that person is difficult to process. Because they were a part of your life for such a long time, I understand why you went to such lengths to care for them. Your wife became your person, the one you couldn’t live without, and you felt the need to care for her in every way possible. Your wife begging you not to get a nurse and you accepting that wish shows your loyalty to your wife. I’m sure a lot of people, especially at an older age, would want to get a nurse to be able to care for their loved ones when they are struggling. It is very hard at an older age to be strong enough to carry, feed, bathe, and dress another. This shows your true strength and determination to make sure your wife has all her needs taken care of. Watching you talk about how much you cared for your wife was so powerful!! I will be so lucky in life if I find a man who treats me the way you treated your wife. Thank you so much for sharing your heartwarming story and I know your wife is in heaven watching over you!
    Juan-Vincente: Hi. My name is Juan-Vincente. And yours?

    Me: Hello! It is nice to meet you. My name is Petronila. How would you describe love?

    Juan Vincente: I would describe love as lust. If there is no lust in love, then everything will go wrong. Love would be a failure if there is no lust involved with your significant other.

    Me: I could see where you are coming from if you are in an intimate relationship with someone, but I believe love can come in many different forms. People can have love for friendships, family, and things that interest them. If there was no love in the world, life would feel empty. I believe there would be no purpose in life if love no longer existed. Do you feel the same?

    Juan-Vincente: I believe that love only exists if there is lust in the world. Otherwise, there’s nothing.

    Me: Okay. Thank you for sharing your opinion on love. It was so nice to talk to you and see a different opinion on what love means to someone. I hope one day you can see more to what love means and will be able to express love in different ways.

    Juan-Vincente: It was so nice talking to you as well and I hope one day I will be able to learn more about love!

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  3. Sam Lundell Avatar
    Sam Lundell

    Dear Raul,
    I heard your story today. Your words connected with me. You remind me of my partner. I agree that in some way opposites attract. Its not for the simple reason of balancing each other out though. Me and my significant other have our shared interests and morals, but not so much our personality traits. I have always been very confident, and a positive realist. My partner on the other hand is not. However, they are a very good communicator and is a resilient caretaker. The way we balance each other out is by learning from one another, and by this we better ourselves.
    I think love is something people search for their whole life, some just don’t know what they are looking for. Not everyone finds true love, I did.

    Philippe: Juan, I hear your words, but I can’t agree. For you love without sex is empty, for me, live is bigger. My wife loves me even though I have no arms or legs. That is love.

    Juan: But Philippe listen, without sex the home collapses. The woman needs that, the man needs that. Otherwise, love becomes friendship. Marriage is not just kindness and respect, it is passion.

    Philippe: Passion is beautiful yes, but bodies change. If passion disappears, does love die with it? I don’t think so. My partner today, Suzanna, loves me as I am. We laugh, we raise children, we build a family. We may not live in the way you describe, but there us tenderness.

    Juan: But without the passion will she not grow tired? Will she not seek another man who could give her what you can’t?

    Philippe: Maybe she could, but I do not fear that. True love is not just lust for the body. It’s loyalty, seeing beyond the body. When she chose me, she chose with her soul.

    Juan: Maybe our worlds are different. In mine live burns fast if there is no passion. In yours it seems love is a slow fire that can survive without it.

    Philippe: Exactly. Love has many sides. For me it is enough.

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  4. Kaci Avatar
    Kaci

    Dear Raul,
    I really liked your message, I feel we’re very similar when it comes to our view on love. I really liked when you said, “I can live without her, but without her I cannot be” because that is also how I view real love. When you’re truly in love with someone you only see them and want them, and you feel like you cannot be without them in life. I also really liked when you said your wife is your other half, I think that’s how all relationships should be. The person you’re with should complete you and make up the parts of you that you feel are missing or need someone. I really agreed with everything you said. Love is something you take day after day and one day at a time. Love is a practice that takes up every day, we choose to love and choose to allow that feeling to show, which is such a beautiful thing. You can take your time; it’s a journey not a marathon. There are good days and bad but if you love them, you should be able to live with a rough moment with your partner than to be able to live a day without them at all. I think it’s amazing you’ve been with your wife for thirteen years and you found the person meant to be yours. I also liked that you described your wife as strong and that she guides your family. I think women just have that motherly, nurturing piece inside of them always and have that strong and powerful trait to get them and their loved ones through anything. Thank you for sharing your story, it was so admirable and wonderful to hear your thoughts on love and your wife, she’s a lucky woman to be blessed with a husband that loves her so much.

    2.
    Jorge: Hello, my name is Jorge. How are you, what’s your name?

    Me: Hello Jorge, it’s nice to meet you. My name is Raul, I am doing pretty well.

    Jorge: Hello Raul, I was wondering what your definition of love is?

    Me: Well Jorge, I view love as finding the person who completes your other half and makes you a better person. For me that person is my spouse.

    Jorge: That’s interesting. Do you think your partner is the only person for you? I think love is being able to share those feelings for multiple people, even at the same time. What if each of these people make up parts of me, and not just one completes me?

    Me: Yes I do think my partner is the only person I could romantically love, especially at one time. I don’t think romantic love, true love, allows you to feel the same thing for multiple people. In that case, I think you’re not feeling true romantic love. I can see what you mean by not one person is going to make up all the parts of you, but you will never be fully complete if you’re depending on somebody else to make the completion.

    Jorge: I see what you mean. Thank you for sharing your input, it was nice to hear someone else’s view on love and how they interpret my situation.

    Me: Of course! Love can be a complicated thing.

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  5. Julia Sciarretti Avatar
    Julia Sciarretti

    Dear Peter,
    I have chosen to write to you because your love story inspired me. I too have the love language of acts of service and find so much joy in being able to take care of my loved ones. She only wanted you to look after her and you would not have had it any other way. This speaks volumes on your marriage and I believe it is probably a good reflection of how your relationship was able to stay strong after 50 years. In hard times such as the ones you are talking about, many spouses tend to give up on each other and take the easy route; this is why there are so many failed marriages today. I believe that real love is continuing to take care for the other when there is no reward on the other side of it. It is showing up for each other day in and day out. It is waking up every morning and actively choosing to put their needs above your own. While listening to your story I was reminded of the lengths that one will go to when they truly love you. It reinforced the saying “if they wanted to they would” and encouraged me to never settle for less then the love you gave your wife. You gave up the ways in which you lived your life beforehand and allowed your only job everyday to be to take care of her. Some may look at this and feel as if you should not give up this much of yourself to another. However, I see it as an incredible act of pure love, especially for the fact that you genuinely enjoyed taking care of her. To be able to love and to be in love in the way you and your wife practiced is an irreplaceable gift.
    Raul: Hello Jorge, I am Raul. It is so nice to meet with you!

    Jorge: Hello Raul, yes I come to you with with eagerness to speak about love.

    Jorge: I have listened to your love story with your wife and although I find it beautiful, I could never put my self in your position. I love love and I love woman but its hard for me to stick to just one

    Raul: You see this is your problem. You will never be fully fulfilled if you keep juggling so many different woman at once. Even if you say you have an intense amount of love for each of them, the love you feel cannot be pure if you share it.

    Jorge: I hear you but I just don’t know if that’s how I can live my life. I am built in a way where all three of these woman seem to be a perfect match for me. However I enjoyed hearing your insight and wish you and your family the best!

    Raul: It was nice to speak with you. I hope one day you can find the one and stick to just her.

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  6. Anna McCune Avatar
    Anna McCune

    Dear Peter,
    I heard your story, and your definition of love is really inspiring to me. Hearing how helping out your wife has brought you happiness is something I can really relate to. I have always found joy in helping others and making sure they feel loved, and I love being the person who makes them laugh or gives them a reason to smile after a rough day. I think it is really inspiring that you choose to be everything you need to be and do everything you need to do to help out your wife without anyone else’s help, even when it is always an option to hire a professional to help you. To dedicate so much time and effort into making sure that your loved one is healthy and happy is a huge commitment, but the fact that you love to be the person to do it for her just shows how good of a husband, and just human being in general, you are. I believe that is some of the truest love I have ever heard of, and it is so amazing you have been able to stay with your wife for so long because of that. That is the kind of love I can only dream I would be able to find, and it saddens me to think that so many people in this world never have and probably never will find that kind of true love.
    Sunao: Hello, my name is Sunao. It is nice to meet you!

    Me: Hello Sunao! My name is Abeer. It is so nice to meet with you as well!

    Sunao: I heard your story, and I can’t imagine how hard it must have been for you to love someone who was capable of causing you so much pain. I love my wife so much that we were prepared to die together so that we didn’t have to spend one day apart from each other ever again. I would never have it in my heart to cause her that much pain, even if one day she did wish to leave me.

    Me: I think your story with your wife is truly beautiful and I believe the universe meant for you two to be together. I couldn’t say the same about my husband and I, but he wasn’t the love I needed in the world. I love my mother and daughter much more than anyone else, and they are all I need in my life. My situation was very painful, but it made me realize that this is just the start of my life, not the end. I have since been able to change my life around for the better.

    Sunao: That is so great! It’s interesting how we both have overcome so much hardship to find love, but we found it in different places! I hope your life continues to improve and that you never have to go through that pain again.

    Me: Thank you so much! I think our differences show just how many ways love can be interpreted and defined, and I think that is a wonderful thing. I hope you and your wife live out many more joyful years together!

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  7. Elena Galvin Avatar
    Elena Galvin

    Dear Petronila,
    Your definition of what love is really speaks to me. I agree that love encompasses everything in life. To me, life without love has no meaning. It is the one thing that we as humans are always fighting for. Everyone deserves and wants love, and without it, there is no reason to go on. I loved when you said “the word love is full of meaning for me”, because I agree. Love really is everything, there are no limits to what love is and what it is not. I think love is more than just a feeling, but it is also hard to say what love is and is not. “Love is what fills the soul” is such a strong and beautiful message. I really like that message because it is not specific to a type of love, love is what fills your soul. Everyone’s love can be different but that is what is beautiful, love can be so many things but it is what connects us all. I think everyone feels love, it might be different types of love, but we all feel it. Whether it is platonic, romantic, or some other form. It is not limited. Love is whatever you need it to be. Because love encompasses everything. I also feel empty when there is no love, love is what we were made for, it’s what keeps us going. Love is so important in life. I think we forget that sometimes, because we can survive without love. But what kind of life is one with no love? Love gives us purpose, it gives us life. Everyone should have love in their life.

    Juan: Hello my name is Juan, what is yours?

    Me: My name is Peter. What is your definition of love?

    Juan: To me, love is lust. With no lust, your love will fail and you will be left with nothing. Lust is the only reason why love exists.

    Me: I do not agree with you. There is more to love than just lust. To love someone is to take care of them. I’ve been taking care of my wife for the last two years with no help because I love her.

    Juan: But is your love real if there is no lust. What is stopping her from leaving you to find someone who will give her lust? Love with no lust is meaningless.

    Me: Love with no lust is not meaningless; it is still love, and it is still strong. I love that I am able to take care of my wife, and she loves that I take care of her. She has never wanted anyone else to help take care of her, only me. And I love doing it. I love being able to help my wife.

    Juan: But what do you get out of a relationship with love but no lust?

    Me: I get love.

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  8. Lilly Deibel Avatar
    Lilly Deibel

    1.
    Dear Peter, your story with love touched me. Hearing that you spent almost 50 years with the woman you loved was inspiring, because not many people find someone to happily share their lives with for that long. Of course, you must have gone through rough patches, but you persevered for the one you loved. The largest challenge you faced was when your wife became ill. Seeing someone you love struggle through an illness must be absolutely heartbreaking. But you stayed strong for her. Instead of hiring a nurse to take care of her, like most people would, you stepped up and looked after her. She asked you to look after her, and you did, despite the circumstances. It seems like you spent the majority of your time doing things for her. I believe that love is a selfless act. Love should be unconditional, and be given without the expectation of anything in return. That is what you gave to your wife. The fact that you loved taking care of her also shows how dedicated to her you were. You did not regret being there for her and sacrificing yourself to take care of her. To be struggling with an illness and at the end of your life must be so difficult, but she had someone there for her who loved her. She was so lucky to have someone like you to be there for her in the end.
    2.
    Me (Sunao): Hello, my name is Sunao.
    Jorge: Hello Sunao, I am Jorge. Nice to meet you.
    Me: What does love mean to you?
    Jorge: For me, love is very complicated because I find myself loving many women with great intensity.
    Me: I could not imagine myself loving more than one woman. My wife means the world to me. I would rather die than live in a world without her. You do not love if you do not give everything for the woman you love. I spent years waiting for my wife. You cannot give everything to three women.
    Jorge: I do love them all with intense passion. Right now, I love three women, and each represents a different part of me. I cannot seem to love only one. Did you not doubt your love for your wife while you waited? Not even once?
    Me: Not even once. I would wait for her for eternity just to be with her in the afterlife.
    Jorge: I could not imagine loving like that.

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  9. Olivia Rogers Avatar
    Olivia Rogers

    1) Dear Camille,

    You are a lover of many things, whether you understand the dance or not. And, I hope the lack of romantic love has not defined you, because it is not good to dwell on what you do not have. It hurts the heart more than one may realize to yearn for something foreign. To allow something misunderstood to consume reality is a corruption of character.
    I believe that everyone experiences deep affection for someone in their life, which is not limited to romantic love. Platonic, maternal, or paternal love can be more impactful and substantial than romantic love, as love is a deeply personal experience. Since love is so vast in expression, it’s important to break away from learned behaviors. There is no requirement to understand a dance; love has no steps or blueprint to abide by as long as the intentions are honest and done with care. Good intentions are the backbone of loving relationships because love is the culmination of care and respect meant to be expressed as best as possible. The idea of never learning to love should be said for all people experiencing romantic love for the first time. No previously witnessed relationship should set standards or expectations, since a relationship develops depending on each person involved, therefore defining its uniqueness.
    I hope to never learn to dance so I can make my own steps that correlate perfectly with whoever I choose to dance with.

    2) Abeer (me): Wow, that is quite the story, Sunao. Dying for the man I love would be hard, considering I’ve found love for many others throughout my life. I did almost die for the man I loved, and the thought of leaving behind my family tore me.

    Sunao: We have very different romantic experiences, Abeer. Aspects of my life back then were very grim and difficult. What my wife and I had was the one thing we were not able to sacrifice compared to all we had already lost or experienced.

    Abeer: That is inspiring, though, to do anything to preserve what is yours. I would do anything for my family, and I would do a lot for my religion.

    Sunao: Yes, but now, I see how impactful our decision would have been to the ones who cared about us. Though I wonder if they might have understood or experienced a love so strong it deserved to be fought for?

    Abeer: They probably felt that way about you. Especially your wife’s parents, since they fought to do what they felt would protect her.

    Sunao: Yes, I suppose my parents didn’t care as much, hah!
    Sunao: Do you ever desire to experience romantic love again, Abeer?

    Abeer: Occasionally, I miss the innocence of it. I think back to better times when I felt romance and the sweetness it brought. But now I pour my love into people who deserve all I have to give, and I feel content.

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  10. Ashlynn Myers Avatar
    Ashlynn Myers

    1.
    Dear Suano, I recently listened to your story about love, and while it was a short summary of your experiences, it had a conveyed a large impact. You went through so much in the name of love. I am so sorry you had to go through all of that, but I am so glad you two were able to be together in the end. Often, parents can be quite difficult when it comes to the person you love. I have studied a lot of Japanese culture and ancient culture, so it was interesting to me to hear about a belief from Japan actually happening, and recently too. Being in love is a blessing, and a lot of the time it comes with many different obstacles, many ups and downs. You say that when waking up, you didn’t know if it was good luck or bad, but you regained consciousness, and “As we couldn’t be together in this world, we wanted to die together, and we weren’t able to. What a terrible destiny!” I think that while you thought that at the time, it is amazing that you both survived; your destiny allowed you two to eventually be together. Your wife must mean so much to you, and you mean so much to her. I believe love comes in many forms, and I think you have a very loyal and pure love, one that isn’t interfered with, one that is strong enough to make it through so much. With the way people love currently, it is very unloyal and very different, many people would not even consider dying for their love. I am so glad you two were able to survive and grow together; that is just another wonderful thing about love. The ability to grow and adapt to so much is so important.
    2.
    Peter: I believe love is everything. It is complicated but simple. I can take care of the one I love, and she appreciates everything I do for her. There is a lot to love, but it is not hard to feel or understand. I loved being the one who was able to be there for her, be special for her.

    Juan-Vicente: Well, I believe love can not be successful without lust and sex. If there is no activity, love will fail, she will be unhappy and believe I can do nothing for her, and I will also be unhappy.

    Peter: Really? I would say that, at least for me, love is so much more than just an intimate relationship. It is measured in the amount of care and effort put in. After being married for fifty years, she was my everything, the one I cared for up until I could not anymore. She only wanted my care and love, so that’s what I gave her, and that is all I wanted to give her.

    Juan-Vicente: I see, the love I have experienced must be very different. The love I have experienced is built on a base of lust and desire for one another. A home will collapse without sex, without sex there is ultimately nothing left. It is interesting to hear your differences, but this is what I feel, what I have experienced through my life.

    Peter: Through my experiences in life I have realized many different people experience different types of love. It is important to find the type of love that suit you and your partner the best. Many different people love in different ways. Your love is one way, while mine is another. Others have their own ways to love aswell too. While we may not agree on the best types of love, that is alright, everyone is different.

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  11. Avatar
    Anonymous

    1.
    Dear Petronila,

    I truly admire the way you described love. I completely agree that love is something that encompasses everything. It isn’t limited to one definition or one kind of experience. Love goes beyond words and actions. It is part of our souls. It shapes how you see the world and how you connect with those around you. It influences the way you grow throughout life, the way you treat others, and the choices you make. Like you said, I also believe that you feel a sense of emptiness when love is missing because love gives meaning to our lives. Without love, you would miss out on one of the deepest emotions you can feel. The happiest moments would feel incomplete. Everyone deserves love and needs it in their lives. Love brings warmth and a sense of purpose no matter what form it comes in, acting as a reminder that we are never truly alone. It teaches us patience, understanding, and compassion. Love pushes us to give as much as we receive, allowing us to fully fill our souls with love. I like how your message didn’t define love as only being a romantic thing because love can be shown through family, friendship, or even just life itself. Your words reminded me that love is an essential part of being human and not just a passing feeling. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful definition. I couldn’t agree with you more.

    2.
    Raul(me): You have a very different view on love that I do, Jorge. For me, love is about having one person living by my side through it all.

    Jorge: I understand that, Raul, but for me love cannot be limited to just one person. I feel like each woman that I love reflects a different part of who I am.

    Raul: For me, my wife is the only person I can picture being with. She is my other half. Our different personalities complete each other, so I don’t need a different woman for different parts of who I am. Without being with her, and only her, I would not be myself.

    Jorge: It’s not that I’m trying to betray anybody. I just feel as though my heart is too big for only one love.

    Raul: I think what makes love powerful is that it asks for commitment. Love is not a desire for passion with me. It is the choice to stay even when life gets tough.

    Jorge: When I am with each of these women, I feel alive. For me, love is not about commitment and boundaries, it’s about intensity.

    Raul: I see that your experience is genuine, even if it’s so different from mine. For me, love is one soul shared by two people. For you, it is many doors open at once. Love speaks in many different ways.

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  12. Dylan Suboticki Avatar
    Dylan Suboticki

    1,
    Dear Raul, I recently heard your story about love and how you have experienced it. I just wanted to say that I am so happy you were able to find love. But I also wanted to tell you that I actually agree with you a lot. I think that when you find someone that can complete you and sort of be your other half that is something very special. When you find someone that is different then you but completes you that is something very special and not everyone finds that. You are able to be there for each other when you cannot be there for yourself and it is the perfect match. Something special is created when that happens. You must love your wife so very much and your child too and I am very happy for you and your family as well. I pray this love continues for you and it is eternal. I hope you guys can continue to be each others other half and keep this forever because some people look for a connection like this for there entire life. I wonder how long this took you to find or how you knew when it was something serious. I would like to know more about your story and life before you found this love. I feel like this all comes through trial and error. Due to the fact you do not know love or the definition of love right off the bat. Love is something you can only find through experiences and how you grow as a person. I wonder how you would feel about others input on love like Juan- Vincente’s or how your advice would be towards Camille who is struggling to find love. Thank you so much for this conversation and I really enjoyed watching and listening to your take on love.

    Juan- Vincente:
    I believe that love is all about sex and nothing else. Without sex their is no love and your wife will think you have nothing to give her no matter what. The relationship will be unhappy because there appears to be no love without sex.

    Peter: I do not know if I can agree with your take at all. I found love through helping and loving my wife through the toughest time of our lives, when she needed me the most. I would help her day in and day out until it was too late and she unfortunately passed away. But I found so much love through helping her through these tough times and I loved every second of it.

    Juan- Vincente: I can see what you are saying Peter but I do not agree with you either. Without any sex there cannot truly be any love no matter what. you can have feelings fro someone and love helping them but there isn’t any true love without sex. I think the home will collapse and it will eventually end without sex. I can see where you are coming from but I do not believe in that.

    Peter: Through my experience with my wife I can say that I have found love.I think doing these favors for my wife and spending that much time with her showed and gave off love. She appreciated it and I loved doing it and to me thats the definition of love. I appreciate your opinion and idea but I do not agree with it as I think differently than you.

    Juan-Vincente: Thats ok, we all have different opinions and I really appreciate and liked hearing your point of view. Thank you for this conversation!

    Peter: Of course! I would be would be willing to talk more about this as well and give our opinions again!

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  13. AJ Fertig Avatar
    AJ Fertig

    Dear Sunao,
    I heard your story in class, and it is one that I keep thinking about. The image of you and your fiancée waking up after the pills and crying together was powerful. I cannot imagine how heavy that moment must have been, wanting to end your life rather than live without the person you loved most. That kind of love is rare, and hearing it reminded me that love can be stronger than anything standing in the way.
    When you called it a “terrible destiny,” I understood why you felt that. You both risked everything just to be together, and it did not work out the way you planned. What I see in your story is fate working differently. You survived because your love was not meant to end there. Even though it took seven and a half years, you showed that patience and loyalty can keep a bond alive. Many people today give up when things get difficult, but your story showed me that true love is proven over time, not just felt in a single moment.
    What I admire most is that you did not let the pain destroy you. You went on to build a life with the same woman you thought you had lost forever. That takes incredible strength. Instead of closing yourself off, you carried her with you through the years, and in the end, you still found your way back to her. That gives me hope that even when life feels unbearable, there can still be another chance waiting.
    Thank you for sharing something so personal. Even though I come from a different time and place, your story made me feel connected to your courage. You showed me that love is not about how easy it is, but about how much it can endure.
    Sincerely,
    AJ

    Juan-Vicente: Hello, my name is Juan-Vicente. How do you see love?
    Me (Philippe): For me, love is more than passion. After my accident, I lost my arms and legs. My first wife left, but later I met Suzanna, who loves me as I am.
    Juan-Vicente: But without sex, the home collapses. A wife needs that, a husband needs that. Without it, love will fail.
    Me (Philippe): I understand why you feel that way, but I see love differently. Bodies change, and desire fades. What lasts is trust, care, and loyalty. Suzanna and I built a family with children, pets, and laughter. That is love, too.
    Juan-Vicente: For me, passion is what keeps love alive. Without it, I think it would die.
    Me (Philippe): Passion matters, but it is not everything. Love can still grow through laughter, children, and the small moments of daily life. That is why Suzanna stays with me.
    Juan-Vicente: But will she not grow tired and want someone else who can give her what you cannot?
    Me (Philippe): I do not believe that. Real love does not disappear when the body changes. It is about choosing each other again and again. When Suzanna picked me, she decided with her heart.
    Juan-Vicente: Maybe our worlds are different. In mine, love burns fast if there is no passion.
    Me (Philippe): For me, love is a slow fire that can last without it. What matters is finding the kind of love that persists for you.

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  14. dpigman Avatar
    dpigman

    Peter,
    Your story is such a great example of what love really is. It shows the true love you have for your wife and sums up what you have been through together. In about 50 years of marriage, the number of experiences you must have had together is immense. Also, the fact that you have been each other’s partners for this long is incredible. This alone shows how much love means to you.
    The story you shared about your wife’s inability to care for herself proves your love for her. You explain that you became more than just her husband. You took on the responsibilities of her nurse, doctor, friend, husband, and lover. Showing love to your lifelong partner is much more than just a loving relationship. For example, you bathed, fed, dressed, and transported her. You attended to all her needs, being the main reason she could continue her life feeling loved and safe. The fact that your wife requested that you be the one she needed to take care of her is another reason that she loved you in return. You respected her decision not to have a full-time nurse. It became a routine for you to be with her and care for her at all times. It says a lot that you did not do this for a reward or out of pity; it was purely out of love. I can imagine that the time and effort you had to put into caring for her was tiring and difficult, but you loved doing it for her. It was a constant act of kindness, affecting someone’s entire life as a whole. The act becomes even more impactful when it is done on our own. Your words at the end say it all, “I loved it that I was able to do it for her without anyone else. And she appreciated it. That’s love.”

    Me: Hello, my name is Raul and I am from Cuba.

    Jorge: Hi there, I am Jorge from Brazil.

    Me: I would like to ask you a question about love. What is your ideal partner and future with them?

    Jorge: Oh, love. Partner, you say? I prefer partners. I cannot stand loving one person at a time. Women are wonderful, and I would love as many as I can.

    Me: Interesting. Is this really what you feel is best? I believe reserving yourself for one true love is best.

    Jorge: I love them all very much. I am loving three women currently, and it is wonderful. It is totally possible to love more than one evenly. Each of the women is perfect for me in their own way.

    Me: That doesn’t sound fair to these women. I would never think to put my wife in that position. No one can compare to her, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

    Jorge: I am aware that is how it should be. But it works for me, and it works for you. We can both be happy and love in our own ways.

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  15. Mallory Smith Avatar
    Mallory Smith

    Dear Peter,
    I really was touched to hear about your love for your wife. You showed her how much you love her every day, not just by telling her you love her, but you cared for her all hours of the day when she wasn’t capable of doing so herself. She asked you not to get her a full-time nurse, so you gladly took on that responsibility to bring her comfort. After fifty years of marriage, the complete pure love for your wife is unwavering. No other feeling or emotion could bring you to endure watching your wife’s health fade the way you did and enjoy being by her side the entire way through. It is something I find truly inspiring and defines, what I believe myself, to be what love is. Love is to always be putting the other person’s needs before your own and enjoy doing so. Bringing your wife the care and comfort she deserved and asked of you for her last few years shows absolute dedication. I can see the way your love drove you to make your life solely about the care of your wife and she could see it too. The way that you love her is something she will carry with her for the rest of eternity. She knows just how fortunate she was to find you, someone that can love her with his entire being.

    Phillipe: Hi, my name is Phillipe, what is yours?

    Me: My name is Peter. I was wondering what you believe love to be.

    Phillipe: Love is to be there and appreciate everything about that person you love and who they are. The only issue being that sometimes there are changes someone undergoes, changes that make you not as much the same person they fell in love with. What do you believe love is?

    Me: I think love is to give everything into the person you decide to share your life with, putting their needs and comforts above your own. But doing so brings you so much joy. My wife got sick in the last few years of her life, and I cared for her all hours of the day. What kind of change are you referring to that could alter the love you have for someone?

    Phillipe: When I married my first wife, I still had my arms and legs. She didn’t marry the guy that had lost them, so we got divorced and I understand.

    Me: Oh, that is not love though. If it was truly love, she would have stuck by you and wouldn’t have a single complaint.

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  16. aburliso Avatar
    aburliso

    To Peter (South Africa),
    Your story of taking care of your wife when she was ill touched my heart in a way that I will always remember. So many talk of love as flashy and fun. They fantasize about dates, gifts, or temporary feelings. You showed that love can be unobtrusive, steady, and full of strength. You accompanied your wife every day after she was seriously ill. You cared for her, bathed her, dressed her, and helped her with everything. You rolled her wheelchair and her oxygen tank, and you did it all, even when friends recommended you hire a nurse. You chose to be the one upon who she could depend on. That choice is the most powerful form of love.

    I can imagine how difficult those years must have been. You were probably tired, nervous, and sometimes by yourself. But you got through it. You never complained. You said that you were thankful that you were able to care for her by yourself. That means a great deal. That shows that love is not about good times or easy days. Real love stays when life gets tough and when the future is uncertain.

    Your story makes me think about what love really is in my life. Reminds me that love is more than words. It can be giving. It can be placing another person’s needs ahead of mine. That can be terrifying because it expects so much, but it also holds out hope. It shows that even in hurt or loss, love can provide peace and purpose.

    Thank you for sharing with me such a personal anecdote. Your words teach me that true love is patient and persistent. It never gives up on the other person. I hope that someday I can be able to love someone with the same strength, kindness, and fidelity that you had with your wife.

    Sincerely,

    Ava Burlison

    Philippe: Hello, my name is Philippe, what is yours? How would you describe love?

    Jorge: My name is Jorge. I am in love with three women.

    Philippe: You love three women at the same time. How do you give each one the care she needs?

    Jorge: I love each of them in a different way. Love is not limited. Why should I hide how I feel?

    Philippe: Love can be wide, but I think commitment makes it stronger. When I lost my arms and legs, my partner stayed for years. That kind of loyalty helped me survive.

    Jorge: I believe freedom is also important. I am honest with them. They all know the truth. We trust each other.

    Philippe: Honesty is good. But love grows when two people build a life together and stay through hard times. Can you do that with three?

    Jorge: Maybe not in the same way. But life has many sides. Why force it into one shape?

    Philippe: Because when life is painful, it helps to have one person who stands with you through everything.

    Jorge: I think love can be steady even with more than one person. The strength can come from inside, not only from one partner.

    Philippe: I still believe the greatest love is choosing one person and saying, “I am here for you.”

    Jorge: And I believe love can mean saying, “I see you and I care, even if you are not my only one.” We each follow our own truth.

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